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When we are referring to subjects like "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Are you able to relate to women?", I often get asked about the simplest way to start getting physical with a girl that you have known as a friend for awhile.

Getting physical is something that usually occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless either of them is extremely uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is uncomfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the main thing that a man can do to take care of that is learn how to observe and make use of gradients.

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder that you climb to get to the top. Some guys may try to go to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uneasy as well as the guy.

A guy who is uncomfortable in this area should learn both how to recognize gradients when women use them and how to use gradients on girls.

Not every woman will start at the same gradient. Some women will start with a kiss after a first date, and move up gradually or quickly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to sexual relations. If a man attempts to jump to the "sexual relations" stage without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. On the other hand, you can lose a girl because you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other women won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, speaking about sexual topics indirectly (for example commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you as you walk), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you stroll, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.

If you are not comfortable with this area and want to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, observe where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients gently. As long as you don't skip too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her persona.

If she is not interested, she probably won't budge. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't budge, try talking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be friends.

Also remember that most women won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely okay with the idea of getting physical with you. So you might want to clarify if you are dating or just "hanging out."

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